…..Is about learning to Pause.

PAUSE before you react and respond.

PAUSE to listen.

PAUSE to think.

PAUSE to watch and wait.

PAUSE to let kids figure it out on their own.

PAUSE to calm down.

PAUSE to shake off frustration.

When you pause, you give your kids the chance to do something for themselves, instead of something for them.


  • When your baby cries – pause. Will waiting 30 seconds, a minute or five to give them the necessary time to calm down or direct their attention elsewhere?
  • When siblings argue over who is playing with the coveted toy – pause. Maybe they’ll work it out on their own or is it nearing getting physical where you should step in? You’ll never know unless you pause.
  • When your two-year-old trips and falls on the sidewalk– pause. Wait to see if she’ll pick herself up and brush it off as no big deal or if she needs comforting.
  • When your child is first learning how to write their name and throws their pencil down in frustration – pause.  Do they pick the pencil back up and keep trying or do you finish it for them or jump in to tell them it’s Ok to do it later without watching to see if they give it another shot?
  • When your daughter is frustrated with her homework – pause. Will she think of a work-around to the problem on her own or does she need your help to find a solution?
  • When your son wants attention, and is throwing a tantrum – please pause. Does he need a snuggle or is he acting out because he’s hungry, or thirty and will he use his words to ask for it?
  • When your baby is stirring in bed and you’re watching on the monitor – pause and wait. Is she able to put herself back to sleep without your help or did you rush to comfort her and not allow her to learn how to do it on her own?
  • When your kids are upset over what you made for dinner – pause. Will they take a bite and discover it’s not so bad or are have you already jumped up to make them another meal like a line-order cook?
  • When you see your child reaching to get an object off the counter but it’s inches out of their grasp – pause. Will they find a solution such as getting a step stool or chair to assist him or do you reach over and give him the item before he can try?

Have you given yourself a few seconds, or stepped out of the room to get your emotions under control or did you just erupt before pausing? Would pausing have stopped you from yelling? I used to yell a lot when I was frustrated after a long day, which I hate to admit, but when I learned to pause, it helped me calm down and see the big picture before I said something I’d regret and didn’t mean.

VIDEOS(click to view)

The Pause Button Technique

10 Reasons to Pause before disciplining your child

Defusing your Anger as a Parent – The Parental Pause

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